


I've never Fallen From Quite This High

by Theemperor95



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pet Names, Praise Kink, more like praise need
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:55:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23887048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theemperor95/pseuds/Theemperor95
Summary: “You’re exhausting” As soon as the words left Eddie’s mouth, the left a bitter taste but he couldn’t stop himself, every word that came after fed the anger in his chest, filling him with the same sick satisfaction as throwing a punch.or: We all know how those words hurt Buck, I just felt a need for Eddie to see it too.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 255





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Do you ever wake up at 4:51 in the morning and a story just appears in your head?  
> Apparently I do, and here is the result. 
> 
> Enjoy

“You’re exhausting” 

As soon as the words flew out Eddie’s mouth, they left a bitter taste but he couldn’t stop himself, every word that came after, fed the anger in his chest, filling him with the same sick satisfaction as throwing a punch. He watched Buck reel and stammer. He watched his best friend tried to fix it, and instead of throwing him a lifeline, telling him that of course, he understood the trauma and pain, he sat there quietly, relishing in seeing his best friend think he was alone and unloved in this world. Reveling in revenge for how Buck had made him feel with the lawsuit.

As soon as they got on the ladder-truck to head back; He was hit by the atrocity he had just committed. How could he call himself Buck’s best friend if he was just used his biggest insecurity against him, he had single-handedly destroyed Buck in that moment. They only had about an hour left of their shift, and Eddie used the entire time to try and apologize, but Buck was withdrawn. He wasn’t meeting anyone’s eye, wasn’t talking, he even refused the food that Bobby offered him. To say Eddie was worried was an understatement, Buck didn’t turn down food, he just didn’t and that's why he resolved to not go home until he had fixed the mess he had made. He was going to put Buck together.

Once clock-out time came around, Eddie had already arranged with Carla to drop Chris off at his Abuela’s. He called Abuelita and explained to her his colossal mistake and need to fix it, the saint of a woman, of course, agreed to watch Christopher, and that’s how he found himself following Buck to his apartment, the blonde none the wiser. 

The track up the stairs was long but once he arrived at Buck's door a few minutes behind Buck, what he found shattered him. Buck hadn’t even made it on to the couch before he fell into an anxiety attack. He was lying on the floor halfway between the door and the couch, curled up on himself pulling his hair as if it had personally hurt him. The sight alone was pitiful, but the low murmuring coming from Buck was just heart-wrenching. The younger man was repeating “useless, no one wants you” on loop, pulling his hair harder and harder as Eddie looked on. It felt like days before Eddie got his body to cooperate and move towards his friend. 

“ Buck, Buck can you hear me-“ he asked, using the same soothing voice he used on Chris after a nightmare “ lift your eyes if you can hear me”.  Eventually, Buck looked up, confusion and fear flashing in his ocean eyes. It made Eddie’s stomach twist knowing that his presence, his voice had that effect on Buck. _I'm here to make it better though_ , he kept telling himself, instead of letting the guilt consume him. 

“ Buck, honey, you’re not useless, you’re needed and loved by me, by Chris, by our whole family” He could tell his voice had captivated Buck’s attention, so he kept repeating the words like a mantra until those blue eyes he loved so much were no longer glassy, and his breathing had steadied some. 

“ ready to move to the couch now?” Buck just nodded. Eddie got up and helped Buck do the same with arms under his armpits. They stumbled to the couch and Eddie opened his arms right away, creating a space for Buck to curl up in. 

He didn't know what this meant for their friendship, but for now, comfort trumped doubt so he just went with it. 

Buck eyed him warily at first, not fully trusting the comfort so freely being offered. Eddie just waited him out patiently, letting Buck decide where to draw the line for Eddie’s involvement. Eventually, though, after long minutes of careful deliberation, Buck must have come to a decision because Eddie found himself with an armful of sad Buck and a mouthful of soft blond hair. His hands gravitated to Buck’s head as if with a mind of their own and he started stroking, murmuring sweet words to calm Buck and himself down further.

“ you’re good Evan, so good,” he said

“ We all love you, you do so much for everyone” he added

“ you’re selfless and wonderful sweetheart” he finished.

Eddie kinda zoned out, totally absorbed by what his hands are doing and lulled by his own words. He was so out of it, he almost missed the first words Buck has uttered all night “ good boy?” he asks in a small raspy voice. Eddie felt a ton of bricks fall on his chest. Of course, Buck needed praise. This sunbeam of a man had more self-worth issues than was warranted for such a wonderful person. At that moment, Eddie promised himself, if praise was what Buck needed, he would never deny him that again

“ yes Evan, you’re a good boy, you’re the best boy sweetheart” The praise was an instant balm for Buck's frayed nerves. He finally, _finally_ melted into Eddie, accepting the love and comfort he was being given freely.

“ How does my good boy feel about a shower and some sweatpants?” 

Buck nodded instantly, once again eager to please, eager to lean into a firm hand offering guidance. 

Eddie helped Buck undress and sat on the toilet lid for the duration of the shower, never stopping his endless stream of praise and soothing words. He helped him out of the stall, patted him dry him with a fluffy towel, and helped the taller man get dressed in soft sweats just like promised. Buck, bless him, had a dopey smile on his face throughout the whole process, he didn’t speak a word but the pliability of his limbs spoke volumes of how much better he was doing.

the bed was soft and comfortable after what seemed like the longest night ever, but in reality, it was two hours and some change since their shift ended. Eddie gathered Buck back in his arms,

“ I’m so sorry Evan, I never want to hurt you like that again, I never want you to doubt your worth again” 

Buck Exhaled loudly “ Its ok Eddie, it's not your fault I’m so weak and so desperate for praise”

The resigned tone in his voice threatened to break Eddie, everything he had done had not been enough. He swung up and over, effectively trapping Buck underneath him and used his strong grip to pin his wrists.

“ Now listen here young man-“ he scolded, watching Buck’s pupils dilate until there’s barely any blue left “ I meant every word I said, you’re amazing and wonderful and everyone loves you. and I will stay here and repeat it until you believe it, understood?” 

Buck swallowed audibly and nodded “ yes Eddie I understand”

“ oh and one more thing, I don’t want to hear any negative self talk from you. I don’t want to have to punish you”

Eddie had no idea where all this was coming from, but it was born so naturally out of him and Buck was reacting so deliciously, he didn’t even question it 

“punish me?” 

Eddie just gave him a heated look “ yes sweetheart, _punish_ you”

He leaned down, pecked Bucks sweetly on his open lips. 

“ sleep now mi amor, we’re both exhausted”

Buck ended up with his head pillowed on Eddie's chest

Eddie just chuckled at the whine Buck let out. Before they knew it, they were both asleep.


	2. Mother Tongue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “ I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to” he pleaded.   
> Noticing the disappointment in Buck’s eyes, Eddie softened immediately “ oh baby, I know you didn’t, I know you have a hard time accepting compliments sometimes, but I promised you punishment and it is my job to deliver”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is what you were wishing for when you asked for a punishment chapter

The transition from best friends to boyfriends was seamless. Chris didn’t even bat an eyelash when they told him, all he said was “ finally dad, jeez” before demanding ice cream. The team took it in stride, making a show of passing around money from their bet before congratulating them and continuing with their game of Rumi. 

Everything was going great, in the two weeks that they had been together Buck hadn’t had an attack, and he hadn’t said one negative thing about himself, Eddie was so proud. 

That all changed over dinner one night. Chris was at the Grant-Nash residence having a sleepover, so Buck and Eddie had called impromptu date night. Technically their first solo date since they took the plunge. Everything was going great, Eddie had brought flowers, Buck was cooking a delicious smelling lamb and rice dish. A soft melody was playing from the speaker when they sat down with dished piled high with the food Buck had cooked. As soon as Eddie tasted it he let out what could only be described as a pornographic moan “ Mmmmm…sweetheart, this is delicious, you did so good” he commented, Buck ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck at the praise “ it’s not that big of a deal, I didn’t really do much”. Eddie stiffened immediately “ excuse me?” he asked, eyebrow raised and eyes hard “ I know I didn’t just hear you deflect a direct compliment” Buck’s eyes went wide but it was too late to back peddle, he knew he was finally getting the punishment that Eddie had promised all those weeks ago “ I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to” he pleaded. Noticing the disappointment in Buck’s eyes, Eddie softened immediately “ oh baby, I know you didn’t, I know you have a hard time accepting compliments sometimes, but I promised you punishment and it is my job to deliver” 

Buck nodded, feeling a little better knowing that Eddie wasn’t actually upset. 

“ now, we’re going to finish this delicious dinner that you cooked, and then we’ll head upstairs for your punishment. How does that sound?” 

Buck’s head nodded on its own accord “ it sounds good”. They ate quick, quicker than what the food deserved, but suddenly it wasn’t about the food, it was about what came after. 

Plates in the sink to be cleaned later, candles put out, the couple headed upstairs. “ strip Evan” the command was new, but it had been established early in their relationship that Eddie would be taking the lead if anything to give Buck the stability that he craved. 

Being naked in front of a fully dressed Eddie sent a thrill through his spine. The power dynamic was so obvious in this state, and all he wanted to do was please. “ lean over the bed please baby” Buck did as he was told, the position left his upper body on the bed and his ass raised in a perfect position. “ you’re so pretty baby, pretty all over. From your soft blond curls to your sparkling blue eyes, to your full pink lips,your broad shoulders, perfectly responsive nipples, delicious abs, and Exquisite thighs” Eddie stroked each part of his body as he named them “ but your ass baby, this ass is a miracle. So strong and yet so soft, it was made to take a spanking” The words were punctuated with a light tap which made Buck let out a tiny moan. He felt like his skin was already on fire and desperate for touch, but Eddie wasn’t done waxing poetic yet 

“ Someday, I’ll spank you for your pleasure, you’ll love it, you’ll beg and writhe for it, but today is not that day, today is a punishment, so I need you to count for me, understood?” 

“ Yeah, I understand” The words came out breathy and far away. 

Eddie started spanking, light at first for a warm-up, but harder and harder as the punishment continued. Fuck this felt good. Who knew there was so much release to be had in the meeting between palm and skin. Buck was growing harder with every hit, he was trying not to squirm too much, but the fight was hard fought and easily lost. He never stopped counting though. Determined to be good for Eddie. “ do you know why I’m spanking you Chiquito?” asked Eddie, a little out of breath 

“ because I wasn’t good” responded Buck 

Eddie slowed down “ baby, you’re always good, so good for me, try again”

“ because I deflected a compliment?” responded Buck 

“ very good baby” Eddie went back to speaking with more force 

“ what should you have done instead baby?” Inquired Eddie

“ said thank you, _sir”_

The spanks stopped immediately. It took Buck a second to figure out why, but as soon as he did he started stammering “ I’m sorry Eddie I didn’t mean-“

“ Say it again” Eddie’s voice sounded like steel now 

“ Sir?” said Buck in an uncertain tone turning to look at Eddie’s face.

Now that he was facing Eddie he could see how much the moniker affected him. His eyes closed, his nostrils flared and the shiver that went down his spine was visible. It only turned Buck on even more 

“ Sir?” he asked in a small voice “ can you finish my spanking now? I want to be your good boy again”

“ fuck Evan” Eddie had to reach down to grab himself “ you keep talking like that and I won’t even get to give you your reward” 

Buck was having the time of his life chipping away at Eddie’s hard exterior, he felt in control in his submission, he was the reason Eddie was about to come in his pants. He assumed the position again and started wiggling his butt to get Eddie’s attention back where he wanted it. 

“ I knew at some point you’d turn into a bit of a brat, I just didn’t think it would be this early cariño” 

Buck whined, no no, he didn’t want to be a brat, he wanted to be good, Eddie’s good boy. 

“ shhh baby, you are my good boy, always so good, but I love having a brat on my hands too, so never be afraid to show me that side of yourself” 

Huh, apparently his thoughts had spilled from his mouth. 

“ ten more baby, and then I can reward you for being so good”

The last ten swats were the hardest, they left Buck’s skin feeling itchy and hot, but now he would finally get fucked, so it had been worth it.

This was new territory, they had been able to fit hurried handjobs and scorching phone sex into their hectic lives, this was the first time any actual fucking was happening. 

“ Have you ever been fucked Evan?” asked Eddie with heat in his voice 

“ yeah, but it wasn’t good” was all the reply Buck offered. Eddie made a note to ask about it later, just to make sure that it had been bad sex and not something else. 

Buck felt Eddie’s hand travel down his spine. past his waist and hips and to his exposed ass. “ how about we fix that baby? get on the bed baby, on your back” 

Buck did as he was asked, and as soon as he was in position, Eddie grabbed his ankles and yanked him down the bed until his ass was at the edge. “ I’m going to eat you out Chiquito, I’ve been dying to get a taste of you since the first time you did squats in front of me” 

Buck hid his face in his hands “ Eddie sto-“ Buck didn’t even get the full word out before Eddie was by his side soothing him 

“ What is baby, did I do something? we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want” 

Buck gave him a shy look “ no no that’s not it, I want to do everything with you, it's just that I’ve never been rimmed before and I’m nervous of how I’ll react” 

Eddie deflated “ Oh baby, that’s ok. If you still wanna try it, I promise to go slow and hold your hand the entire time” 

Buck fed off of Eddie’s soothing energy and consented, never one to back down from a new sexual experience “ ok, go ahead”

_FUCK!_ Buck really wished he had better expletives because what he was feeling was deserving of the full sailor dictionary. Having a tongue, Eddie’s tongue none the less licking his ass was miraculous. Buck had had a lot of sex in his time, but nothing, _nothing_ he had done or had done to him, felt as good as this. Every swipe of Eddie’s tongue was like an electrical shock to his dick, he felt pleasure so intense, it was bordering on painful, and then _and then_ Eddie wiggled inside. Buck’s world stopped spinning, how people lived their entire lives without Eddie Goddamn Diaz having his tongue in their ass he’d never know, but he was thanking every deity he knew that he had been lucky enough to have this experience. Eddie ate him out like a man starved, making the same moans he did when he tried Buck’s food, it was too much, the pleasure and the sounds and the fact that Eddie stayed true to his word and he never let go of his hand, he came. He came and he was unable to stop it. The pleasure was so monumental it just demanded he succumb to it. The orgasm lasted for what seemed like hours, hours in which Eddie never stopped fucking him, he just kept right on going, extending his pleasure to the limits of pain, and then he stopped. 

“ Mierda mi amor, that was bar none the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe you came untouched from getting tongue fucked” Eddie’s voice was awed and raspy from arousal, and Evan wanted to return the favor, he really did, but his body had turned to jelly. 

“ siiiiiir” he whined batting at Eddie with kitten strength “ you now?” 

Eddie gave him a fond smile “ yes baby, me now, but I need you to come down a bit more so you’re not over-sensitive when I fuck you” 

The words alone made Buck’s tired dick twitch and start thickening 

“ Fuck Buck, you have the refractory period of a teenager” noted Eddie 

“mmmmhm.. you’re just that good” came a tired answer 

“ you know it baby” Teased Eddie right as he put one finger inside his boyfriend 

Buck gasped at the intrusion and arched his back, fuck he had forgotten how good this felt. 

“ more sir please” he pleaded, already halfway to losing his mind. Eddie chuckled at his desperation but acquiesced, “ that better baby?”He asked with a teasing grin 

“ you’re so greedy for it, sucking me in like you can’t stand being empty” The words were a little humiliating but they only made the fire, that had replaced Buck’s blood, fan back to life with a roar _yes, he was greedy, and yes he was made to please._

Eddie was out to kill him, he was sure of it. Every time he would beg for another finger, Eddie would take one out, keeping him constantly guessing and alert for the next move. It took a few minutes longer than what Buck needed, but eventually, Eddie deemed him stretched enough “ ready for more Evan?” he asked, needing to hear the words from his partner.

“ yes sir, I wanna get fucked please” Eddie moaned at the words, leave it to Buck to find a way to break him down without even meaning to. The initial push was earth-shattering, Eddie couldn’t believe Buck was this tight, this hot, this _perfect_ he was just made for his dick, Eddie was sure of it. 

As for Buck? Buck was on a different dimension, his eyes were glossed over, his mouth was shaped into a blissful smile and his body radiated contentment “ look at me baby please” Eddie commanded in a soft tone. He needed the reassurance that Buck was ok before he started moving. 

His eyes were open, right? He knew they were but why couldn’t he focus them on anything. His entire existence had narrowed down to the point where Eddie’s body met his, but Eddie had asked him to look at him so dammit he would do his best 

“ there you are pretty baby, keep those beautiful ocean eyes on me” _Totally worth it_ , though Buck, he would keep looking at Eddie forever if it meant he got praised like that. 

Buck was used to fucking, he understood the cadence of hips and the dance of lips, some might even say he was gifted in the language of bodies, but nothing could have prepared him for this. Not being in control forced him to learn a whole new language, a language of following and reacting instead of leading and inciting reactions. He learned it so quick, he was hard-pressed to deny that this was his mother tongue. 

They climbed together, with each drag of that perfect cock against that place within him, every sigh and moan and dirty word whispered in the space between them, they climbed. Buck fell first pushed over by a constant litany of praise “ you’re such a good boy” and “ you were made for this” sometimes even “ I love how your body can’t get enough of me” were his undoing. Eddie’s demise was the sight of his best friend turned lover coming with his name on his lips. 

They stayed connected for a long while after, neither of them ready to come apart just yet, the mess between them forgotten. When Eddie finally made to pull out, he was met by whines and an impressive pout “ sh sh sh baby, I know you don’t want to be empty” cooed Eddie, but he pulled out nonetheless and made his way to the bathroom to clean himself up and get a wet rag for the boneless heap formerly known as Buck. 

They were sated and warm between the sheets. At some point Eddie had gotten them both juice and leftovers to eat in bed, he made sure Buck’s butt and thighs looked ok, and there were no welts, in no time Buck was lulled to sleep by the TV and Eddie’s magic hands carding through his hair. Eddie enjoyed the sight of this wonderful man pliant and vulnerable in his arms and vowed to treasure him as he deserved. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thank you for sticking with it.   
> I will be continuing this story cause it's just so easy to write if there's anything you wanna see happen, leave a comment!

**Author's Note:**

> I could be persuaded to post a second chapter, just let me know what you want to see happen.


End file.
